Go Go Growing ...

The last couple of weeks we have been busy, busy, busy with dental appointments, and physicals with a few specialist appointments thrown in for good measure. Take into account that our crew is made up of nine children, one of which is a very sweet (but demanding) newborn - and you get a crazy couple of weeks.

Max had his physical on Monday. Almost a year since his last physical. He has gained ten pounds and has grown four inches since last year. 

He now weighs 37lbs, and is 3'4" tall. He is still a little peanut coming in at around 5% on the Down syndrome growth chart. He is wearing size 4T - 5T, and can still sport some 3T pants. Shorts are better fitting at 3T. With being so little, I sometimes forget he is seven. This works to Max's advantage, as his teachers also forget - making Max a very catered to little guy. He is insanely popular at his school, as I kept being told by his para educator. I got to see it first hand one day, as I went to pick him up early from school. As Max and I waited in hallway for his backpack to be brought, I witnessed as Max was continually high fived and said hello to by student after student as they all made their way into the lunch room. The kid is making an impact in more ways than one.

The other night I watched as Max wrestled with the rest of the kids and Daddy - only this time, he initiated it! He took his tiny head and ran towards the girls (easy target) and buried it into their chests, all the while giggling. Well, that was all it took - and my whole living room broke out in roars and laughter with high pitched squealing here and there as I had a mound of kids tackling one another.

Ya know, sometimes having a big family with some complexity mixed in can be a bit overwhelming. SOMETIMES.

But more often than not, I sit back as I witness God's goodness - in the form of growing little boys, squealing girls, and a clingy, cuddly newborn.

Happy Birthday Bugalicious!

happy third birthday

BUGALICIOUS

(yes, that is our nickname for little Justus)

 Three years ago, today, our lives became more enriched, more blessed as we welcomed our sweet Justus.  We had no idea he had an 'extra something special'. We had no idea that you also had a heart condition known as Tetrology of Fallot. We had no idea that we were beginning a most amazing journey.

 I am so glad that God knows exactly what we need, even though we may think otherwise. Truth be told, we needed you Justus. We needed the challenges to pray fervently, as we never had before, when we were presented with almost losing you after your open heart surgery. 

We needed the sheer joy that we experience every time you reach a new milestone. We needed to know a deeper benevolent spirit as a family. We needed to know the absolute stance of protecting EVERY life - even when the world may think it absurd. We needed you sweetheart, and God knew it. I'm so glad He knows better than us.

 Justus, you have opened SO many people's hearts and minds to the world of special needs. You have broken down false perceptions by the simple smile you offer strangers. I have watched as countenances have changed so quickly as you reach out to those around you. You have taught me some very sweet and special lessons as well.

 I don't take life so flippantly anymore. You have taught me how very special life is. A precious gift, not to be taken for granted. I thought I had truly upheld the sanctity of life prior to your arrival, but ... I learned a whole new facet to that very basic conviction.

 Justus, I love you so very much. 

I am so grateful to God for allowing you to be in our family. 

 Happy third birthday Bugalicious!!!

In honor of Justus' birthday - we are posting this link:  http://reecesrainbow.org/19021/nico-14g

In hopes that little Nico (who also has a birthday in May) will be able to celebrate his next birthday and be just as happy as our Justus too!

A Joyful Noise

 Ivanna was so thrilled to hear a loud booming sound the harder she "played" the piano keys.

 My sweet Ivanna looks quite at ease on the piano bench.

 Tickling the ivories seems to be in this girl's wheelhouse.

 Look at that! She is actually using the tips of her fingers here!

 A sweet duet.

 "Don't worry brother, I will show you how you make this thing sing!"

Sweet fingers, precious hands . . . making a joyful noise. 

New Adventures

Sometime around the beginning of the year, I started to really notice that Max and Ivanna were sort of doing the same ole' same ole' every day. I started to feel as if Max and Ivanna were reaching sort of a developmental plateau. I knew that there was way more potential, and I started to realize that I was not tapping into the fullest potential of both kids.

I had always had the absolute goal of homeschooling Max and Ivanna as well. Of tailoring educational goals around their particular needs. 

But. Things change. 

When Max and Ivanna first came home from Ukraine, the goal was to have them get healthy. For weight gain, therapies scheduled, surgeries done, medications prescribed ... etc. Praise God, all of those things are being managed and their health is in good form. 

After much prayer, my husband and I decided that we would meet with the school district and find out more information and how putting Max and Ivanna in school would be a benefit to them. I wasn't looking for an "out" but rather looking for help in giving Max and Ivanna the tools necessary for more independence and further learning.

The school district's response was amazing. It was just what I needed. The reassurance that my children would be well cared for and have everyone working together for what would be best for them.

The result is that Max and Ivanna have been attending school since about February, both ride the bus (which picks them up and drops them off in my driveway) and both have had wonderful IEP meetings with fantastic educational and therapy goals set. Max and Ivanna have really blossomed in some ways since. Ivanna started initiated kissing me all on her own. She walks up and down the stairs holding the rails, she even is getting better at maneuvering the playground at school. She seems to be less agitated in many ways. Max just LOVES riding the bus and going to school. His teacher and aide remind me that he is very popular at school.

So, for now ... we are quite pleased with the decision. If things change, we can always deal with issues as they arise. 

*sorry for the quality of pictures, but often times it's just easier to snap images using my cell phone*

Ivanna's first ride on the school bus. 

Max's first bus ride!

Max learning to color by using the 'hand over hand' technique

Max learning to cut also using hand over hand

Justus says hello

Justus is an iPad expert

All three littles on World Down Syndrome Day. (March 21) 

At a place here in Port Orchard called Imagination Station. A great place for sensory stimulation.

Max and Chloe exploring

Max and Justus trying to climb the big toy. Would you LOOK at Justus, he is actually trying to climb. That kid has NO FEAR!

Max enjoying the bubble corner at Imagination Station.

Are my littles growing up or what? I can't believe how each one is getting so big. By now, Ivanna easily weighs more than Max - and seems to have more muscle tone. Ironic, given her being crib bound in the orphanage. Max is still struggling with reflux. It drives me crazy, and I really don't know what to do to be a better help to him. Justus turns three in a few weeks, and the thought makes me teary. We are so so so busy right now with having a newborn (baby Asher) and unfortunately he is sick. :(

Thank you for stopping by. 

Asher Lee

Introducing:

Asher Lee Browning

Asher (fortunate, blessed, happy) Lee (in honor of my Dad, Bruce Lee)

Born: April 10, 2012

Weight: 8lbs 10oz

Length: 21"

You can read a little more at our family blog: www.thebrowningbeat.blogspot.com

Thank you to those who brought meals, and have been a blessing in other ways to our family. We so appreciate our sweet friends and family and praise God for each and every one of you.

Asher is doing well, and currently doesn't know what it's like to not be held. ;) Which, I am perfectly ok with. Babies are for snuggling and holding and loving on .... and Asher is such a snuggle bug.

Almost Speechless

... almost ...

See this picture?

Yes, you guessed right.

A new adoptive mama meeting her daughter for the first time. A mother who has been there done that - as far as adoption is concerned. She is what many might call a 'seasoned' mother in the realm of adoption as her and her husband have been on this journey many many times.

But...

This time it's a bit different.

Go back to that picture above. At first glance you might think that little girl with frail features is an infant, or maybe a toddler. No.

TWELVE.

Twelve years old.

No words can describe the amount of hurt, neglect, starvation, loneliness, etc that this sweet child has endured.

But, my friend Jenny, who is soon to be that little girl's mommy - is also meeting other children that she is adopting from this same orphanage in Bulgaria.

Look below.

This little one.

Jenny and her husband are also working to bring this little girl home (along with two other children I don't have pictured).

Go ahead. Guess.

She is FIFTEEN years old

My reason for this post? Is it to shock you?

Maybe.

Maybe it is. Maybe I just want to remind, both myself, and you that these children exist. I don't want to forget that all it takes is someone reaching out, as the Sousa-Brown family has, and love these children, as Christ desires us to. To show them that they, too, are valuable - worthy of redemption. That they have meaning. That they have not been forgotten, left with no voice or hope.

Praise God for these girls finally knowing that love.

~ think of the 147 million orphans worldwide who do not~

You can visit the Sousa-Brown's family blog here

You can learn more about the orphanage these girls have been tucked away in here

Life

There has been a bunch of articles posted lately that I have run across. These articles have all dealt with the same general topic: life. More specifically they have been focused on the new MaterniT21 genetic screening (manufactured by Sequenom). A blood test designed to be administered early on in a woman's pregnancy with the intention of screening out wether a woman is carrying a child with one of three types of Trisomy; Trisomy 21 (most common form of Down syndrome), Trisomy 18, and Trisomy 13. Yes, there has been genetic screening around for sometime now, but as most women know - the accuracy rate is weak and many times yields a false positive - it (CVS panel) is also typically given a bit later in the pregnancy. The other option available for screening is an amniocentesis - which is quite invasive and comes with the danger of miscarriage. So ... you can imagine the hype amongst the medical community once this new test became approved and available this last fall. Even though the test costs a whopping $1200/testing the hope is that insurance will eventually work to cover the cost given the amounts of money they will eventually save in diagnosing Down syndrome iand giving women the option of abortion much earlier on in their pregnancy.

I can't tell you how this new test grieves my heart. Already, even with the inaccurate testing available, the termination rate amongst those women receiving a prenatal Ds diagnosis is above that of 90%. Now, just for a moment, think. What do you think will happen now that there is a test available known for it's accuracy, as well as it's ability to yield results as early as ten weeks gestation? Do you think that statistic will increase or decrease?

The answer is so very clear.

Some may say that this is just a better way of being more prepared. I wish it were that simple. However, while that may be the intent of some - statistics show that most are using the already existing tests as a way to weed out the children that they deem not acceptable, or too burdensome. If a woman is tested sooner in her pregnancy, before she is even showing, before she has had the time to become really emotionally connected to the growing baby inside her - I can't help but imagine that the prospect of abortion is a little bit more acceptable to her.

The bigger picture?

What about the Down syndrome community as a whole? What is the world afraid of? The widely accepted view that those with Ds are gentle spirits? The fact that those around them tend to claim a more enriched life? Is the world so frightened by the absolute love in this people that it is too unbearable? If already 90% of those diagnosed prenatally are aborting, what will happen to the population of those with Ds after this new and improved test becomes more widely used?

When I look into his eyes, I see nothing frightening. I see joy, love, potential, a sweet spirit, and an absolute blessing that has touched the lives of so many people and changed perspectives in a profound way.

But ... for every one of Justus' you see ... there are nine others that were not allowed an opportunity of life. Their families never realized that joy, love, or potential. They were gripped by fear of the unknown and a test allowed them a way out.

This new test promises a much earlier opportunity for that way out ....

... and for many more children to never have that chance of life.

Max's Day

Just a quick post on Max's seventh birthday.

It was a quiet and low key one, because I was home sick with Justus and Ivanna - Max and the rest of the crew went to church that morning. Apparently the cupcakes I made for his sunday school class were a hit ... and Max ate three of them.

Then, on the way home from church, Daddy stopped at McDonald's and picked up lunch for all. Max's absolute favorite thing to eat is french fries. So ... alas ... we celebrated with fries and cake!

After cake, Max opened gifts. He got a puzzle and a nice big red Tonka ambulance to go with his fire truck. He was THRILLED!

We love our little Maxi Pants. He is such a joy! Really ... this kid loves to giggle and laugh. He hardly ever complains. I never see him blatantly hurt another child. He is so easy tempered and everyone loves his demeanor. We are so grateful to have him in our family, and look forward to celebrating more birthdays in the future!

Max Turns Seven

Happy Birthday Max!!!

Max turns seven tomorrow (Sunday).

I almost can't believe it myself. He in many ways is still such a little peanut of a boy. Still wears a 4T and size 8 shoe, but despite his tiny frame - he has made BIG strides in his development since his last birthday.

This boy is very smart! He mimics easily and that makes learning signs enjoyable and fairly fast. This helps so much in trying to communicate with him. I hope that soon he will start signing without prompting, letting us know what he needs or wants on his own.

He has also started to try and vocalize a bit more. Not only does he mimic signs, but if you slow your speech and make it obvious that you desire for him to try and repeat what you say, he will TRY!!! This is a huge improvement from where he was last year.

We look forward to celebrating his birthday tomorrow in a very low key fashion. We will pack along cupcakes for Max to take along to Sunday school (don't worry moms, they are white with white frosting!!! lol) and on the way home we will pick up Max's all time favorite treat ... french fries. Presents and cake will await us at home, and don't worry - pictures will be taken!

Last year as we celebrated Max's birthday I couldn't help but think of two things: one being his biological mother. I don't know very much about her - other than she did keep Max for nearly a year and a half before she took him to the orphanage. (This is very uncommon in Eastern Europe) I am grateful that he did have that time with her, and no doubt was loved and invested in. I can only assume that perhaps his struggle with pneumonias or a late diagnosis of Down syndrome is what led her to forfeiting her parental rights to him. Regardless, while we celebrate his birthday I can't help but think that this day is a painful reminder to her. It is my sincere prayer that she finds peace that Christ can offer.

My second thought lingers briefly over the "what ifs". If Max had never been adopted, he would at this very moment in time, be in a mental institution due to his age. Locked away for the rest of his life, simply because he has an extra chromosome. His particular orphanage only keeps a child until they are six, at which time they are transferred to an insane asylum (the locals call it that). I can't help but feel complete gratitude to our Lord for allowing us to fall in love with Max's picture and allow a burden to root that would be the catalyst in flying half way around the world to discover our new son. Max no longer is one that has to dread impending birthdays, but celebrate as children should.

Max is amazing. He is such a joy, loves to laugh and giggle. He is easy going and learns pretty quickly. He is one handsome little dude and it is not uncommon for him to draw attention because of his unavoidable cuteness.

Max, we love you so very much. Happy birthday my little Maxi pants!

It Happened

It happened. I knew it would ... someday. I knew it ... but nonetheless, I was not expecting it at that moment, and it hurt.

This last Monday Ivanna had an appointment with our wonderful pediatric ophthalmologist in our area, and so she and I were sitting in the waiting area. No big deal. However, we have taken to the routine of no longer giving her naps, so that she will sleep through the nights. Trade off? She gets a little squirmy in the afternoon, especially in public places. When she is tired, she tends to make more noises, fidget and just act a bit restless in general. To me? Just Ivanna. To my other kids ... just Ivanna. But ... to others ... a little different.

There were three other little girls in the waiting area with their parents. While I struggled to keep Ivanna calm and reassure her by rubbing her hands, etc. - I noticed that these sweet little girls were not playing in the play area, or reading books, or giggling or talking to one another. They squarely had their eyes locked on Ivanna. So much so that their Mother sort of gently tried to divert their attention ... with no luck.

What these little girls were doing was NORMAL, it was fine, it should not have bothered me. To them ... Ivanna was different, acting differently, looked different. I even had a moment of sympathy as the Mother who was red faced, tried to scoot their stares away from my little girl. I felt her embarrassment, I have been there before.

I blame pregnancy ... hormones ... lack of sleep ... whatever. But at that very moment I fought my tears. I swallowed hard as I kissed Ivanna's cheek. Why? Why was that so hard for me. It's normal. I have even expected it, and really those little girls were doing nothing derogatory. They were just curious.

I have thought about that moment off and on this week. I don't typically get emotional about things like that ... and like I said, it could be that perhaps I am a little sensitive lately. However, I can't help but draw a parallel.

Retard.

That word. Never has it really bothered me. Mostly because I think the general population uses it so flippantly. So mindlessly. Not intending to hurt one particular group of people. Even after giving birth to Justus, people would slip and use that word in front of me, then catch themselves and apologize - but I really wasn't hurt by the word. Perhaps I even felt sorry for their juvenile expression as sounding inept, but never did it hurt my feelings.

But now ... I think of that moment in the waiting area. Those little girls intended nothing by their stares, and thankfully my sweet Ivanna was completely oblivious to the fact that she was drawing such attention. But still ... it hurt. It was an awful feeling to be confronted that yes, my daughter - and Justus and Max are different. Different to the point of sometimes being a spectacle. Different in the sense that they may not always act how others deem appropriate, and this will cause reactions. Different as deemed by others NEGATIVELY. Not different as I have come to celebrate it ... beautiful, joyful, full of spirit, unique, strong, so full of love.

So ... what if?

What if Ivanna had caught the glimmer of their curiosity? What if when Justus is older he overhears someone saying retard? What if Max questions why that word is used to define people (and him) in a derogatory fashion? What then?

I trust God will give our family the ability to graciously deal with those feelings and questions if and when they present themselves. However, I also know the hurt I felt on Monday in that waiting area. I realized the impact of a simple stare. I truly pray that my children don't endure hurt hearts simply because they exhibit different traits or behaviors. More than that ... I do believe now that God sort of opened my heart to the realization that I may need to gently remind those in our midst that the word 'retard' is just unnecessary. Now while my children are young, is a perfect time to learn that lesson.

Words do matter.

I'm also grateful God does things like opens your eyes through small little situations. Opens your heart through circumstances. All so you can learn and become better at what you do. For me, it's being mindful of how those stares or that word could impact my child.

Thanks for visiting. Please excuse the post dripping with emotion. ;)

Talent and Victories Abound

Max has just recently shown us his talented dancing. Here he is dancing as Isaac plays the piano. Cute stuff. Try not to fall out of your chair from such cuteness ...

These next set of pictures show another HUGE accomplishment in the Browning house! Justus is now a walker!!!

So very proud of himself!

Yay!!! Big boy!!!! I can't express how proud I am of you sweet Justus!

*just a question thrown out there to you fellow bloggers ... what is the easiest way to post a video from your iPhone?